Day 6

Today was Valentines day, a great day for couples who immensely love each other. Some make promises of loving each other their whole life. Some start their relationship today. Sometimes I also feel to have girlfriend because I am staying away from my mother and will be staying whole life away from her. I will be meeting with her rarely and her role of raising me is getting over day by day but the motherly emotion is getting stronger day by day. So now in my life a deep void is created sometimes it gets filled but how can I stay with a void in my life. For that I badly need a female companion who will be always there to support me. I think this will also reduce my high blood pressure. Whenever I feel stressed may be due to the drag I call my mom and I feel relaxed after talking to her. If I make a girlfriend then I will definitely forget my mother because now she is giving that feeling which my mother used to give. When I see the case of my cousin brother I feel of not making any but when I am stressed and my mother is not with me I feel like making. But why am I to talking such thing. I am still not independent. My father's still financing me. But after 3-4 yrs I will definitely have one. So today classes as usual. But we did not have two theory classes as our faculties gave us leave for valentine's day. When I went to submit my assignment to mam what I saw was many of my friends are whishing and giving flowers for Valentine's day to mam. For them its normal but I felt auckward because there is some respect for her. This may be of my narrow mindedness. When I said this to my mother she said they are buttering her. This also implies I am a fool and actually I am a fool. So tomorrow's Saraswati puja. My friends are making the pandal in the balcony besides my room so lots of comotion coming from there.